The One Thing Elite Leaders Do in the Room That Nobody Ever Taught Them
“I’m just trying to keep up with my dad’s business.”
Ten words. And the leader across from him moved right past them.
Not out of arrogance. Not because he didn’t care. Because nobody had ever told him that those seven words were the whole ballgame — that everything he was there to accomplish hinged on what he did in the next three seconds.
Think about what that sentence is actually carrying. Someone was handed a family legacy and was quietly drowning in it. Working seven days a week. Afraid to miss payroll. Afraid to let the employees down. Afraid — above everything — to be the one who lost what his father built.
That is not a sales objection. That is a human being telling you exactly who he is and what he needs.
And the leader missed it.
I’ve watched this happen in boardrooms, in client meetings, in physician-to-patient conversations, in high-stakes pitches inside some of the largest companies in the world. The moment arrives — raw, unscripted, real — and the leader pivots to their agenda. Because solving feels productive. Because staying in someone else’s discomfort feels like losing ground.
It’s not. It’s the only ground that matters.
That’s the gap I’ve spent my career closing.
The Most Overlooked Executive Communication Skill of Our Time
When Fortune 500 organizations and multi-billion dollar companies invest in leadership communication training, the conversation almost always starts in the same place: executive communication skills, executive presence, strategic thinking, revenue performance.
All critical. All worth your investment.
But there is a skill sitting underneath every single one of those — one that determines whether a leader lands or loses, whether a physician retains trust or erodes it, whether a sales conversation turns into a relationship or a transaction.
That skill is empathy in leadership. And most high-performers have been trained out of it.
91% of CEOs say empathy is directly linked to financial performance, yet only 48% of employees believe their CEO actually demonstrates empathy. (Businessolver, State of Workplace Empathy Report) That gap isn’t a values problem. It’s a skills problem.
What Empathy Actually Looks Like in High-Stakes Conversations
Back to that session.
The leader was playing the role of a sales rep in front of a client who said: “I’m just trying to keep up with my dad’s business.”
I stopped the tape. And I told him what I tell every senior leader I work with:
Be there with them in that moment.
Not with a solution. Not with a pivot to your value proposition. With presence.
Think about what that sentence actually means. This person was handed a company. A family legacy. And they are — in their words — barely keeping their head above water. They are working seven days a week. They eat, drink, and sleep this business. They are quietly terrified of missing payroll. Of letting their employees down. Of letting their father down.
When a client or customer shows you that? That is not the moment to pitch.
That is the moment to say: “I get it. You don’t want to let your family down. That must be a lot.”
Full stop.
When you meet someone there — when you actually feel the weight of what they’re carrying — something shifts. They feel a connection to you that no discount, no feature, no polished presentation can manufacture. They think: He gets it. I’m coming back to him.
That’s not soft leadership. That’s elite leadership.
Why High-Performers Struggle With This (And What to Do About It)
I work with C-suite executives, senior physicians, and enterprise sales teams across some of the largest organizations in the country. And across all of them, I see the same pattern:
The higher the achiever, the harder empathy is to deploy under pressure.
Here’s why. High performers are trained to solve. To move. To close. The moment discomfort enters a room, every instinct says: fix it, bridge past it, get back to the agenda.
But the clients, customers, and patients in front of your leaders are not looking to be fixed in that moment. They are looking to be understood.
Leaders who prioritize warmth and connection before demonstrating competence are perceived as significantly more trustworthy and trust is the single most important factor in whether people follow someone’s direction. (Harvard Business Review, “Connect, Then Lead” — Cuddy, Kohut & Neffinger) The competence is still essential. But it doesn’t lead.
This is what I mean when I say empathy is a performance skill. It’s not about being soft. It’s about sequencing correctly. And it is the foundation of every leadership and communication training program we run.
The Empathy Framework We Use in Executive Communication Coaching
At JPG, our executive communication coaching is built around one core truth: Leaders cannot connect with others until they are genuinely present with them. When we work with managers and senior leaders — whether in one-on-one communication coaching sessions or in group leadership communication skills training — this framework is where we start.
- Slow the moment down. Empathy requires you to stop performing long enough to actually listen. Most executives are so well-rehearsed in their executive communications that they stop hearing what’s actually being said. We train leaders to recognize the moment a conversation shifts from transactional to emotional and to consciously pause there.
- Name what you’re hearing. Not a paraphrase. Not a solution. A reflection. “That sounds like a lot of pressure.” “I can hear how much is riding on this.” These phrases create the umbilical cord — the felt sense of connection — that makes a leader someone worth trusting. This is a core skill in every communication training for managers we deliver, because it is where most managers have never been coached.
- Stay before you steer. The instinct is to move. Empathy requires you to stay. One breath longer in the discomfort. One beat before the pivot. This is where the relationship is actually built.
- Connect the feeling to your offer. Once you’ve been present, you’ve earned the right to be useful. That’s when your expertise, your product, your solution becomes the logical next step — because you’ve already demonstrated you understand what’s actually at stake.
This is the work that separates our managerial communication training from a standard communication class. We don’t teach frameworks in a vacuum. We build the skill in the room, in real scenarios, with real feedback — until the leader owns it. The COO of a $15 billion U.S.-based company put it better than I ever could: “You met people where they needed you to be, and pushed just the right amount based on each personality. I was truly blown away watching that — it’s a real talent that I don’t know I’ve seen before.”
What This Means for Medical Associations and Healthcare Leadership
The stakes get even higher in medicine.
When I coach senior physicians and medical association leaders, empathy isn’t a soft skill. It’s a clinical and organizational performance issue. Physician empathy is directly correlated with patient outcomes, treatment adherence, and reduced medical errors. (Hojat et al., “Physicians’ Empathy and Clinical Outcomes,” Academic Medicine)
The most accomplished physicians I work with are technically brilliant. But the ones who become true leaders — the ones who earn the loyalty of their departments, their associations, their patients — are the ones who know how to be present in the hard conversation. That’s a trainable skill. And it’s one we build.
When the Camera Is Rolling: Empathy Is Under the Highest Pressure
There is one context where the absence of empathy becomes immediately, publicly visible: media.
Media training for executives is often misunderstood. Organizations think of it as PR training — a polish job, a set of talking points, a way to avoid saying the wrong thing on camera. What it actually is, done correctly, is high-stakes communication coaching under controlled pressure. It’s where you find out whether a leader can stay human when the lights are on.
The executives and physicians I’ve put in front of cameras for media coaching know what I mean. The moment a reporter asks a hard question — about a product failure, a regulatory issue, a crisis — every instinct says: defend, deflect, control. The leaders who land are the ones who can do something counterintuitive instead: they stay present. They acknowledge. They connect before they correct.
That’s not a media training agency trick. That’s empathy, applied at speed, under pressure.
It also matters in crisis communication management. A well-constructed crisis communication plan means nothing if the leader delivering the message can’t hold the room. The words on paper do not save you. The leader in front of the camera does — or doesn’t. Crisis communications, at its core, is a human performance challenge. And the organizations that invest in executive communication skills training before a crisis are the ones whose leaders are ready when it counts.
Erik Peterson, Director of Learning Excellence and Technology at GAF, said it clearly after working with our team: “The feedback is candid, clear, and important for leaders to hear — delivered in a constructive but empathetic way that really resonates.”
The Bottom Line for Leadership Development Investment
If you are a Chief Learning Officer, a Chief Human Resources Officer, or an executive responsible for developing your organization’s top talent, here is what I want you to take from this:
The leaders who are going to carry your organization forward are not the ones who can command a room. They’re the ones who can read it.
The ability to feel what a client, a colleague, or a patient is carrying and to meet them there before moving forward is the difference between leaders who perform and leaders who transform.
Todd Dayley, VP of Field Sales at a $36 billion shipping company, said after his coaching: “I never thought at this age and stage of my career I would have had this opportunity to grow and become an even better person — and better at the skill set I need to do my job.”
And Shiv O’Neill, General Counsel at an $11 billion pharmaceutical company, went from dreading a high-stakes panel to saying: “If you asked me to do that now I’d say, ‘Oh, that’s no problem. I know how to prepare for that.'”
That is the work. Not just better presentations. Better leaders.
That’s what we do at JPG. Whether your leaders need an executive communication coach, communication classes for managers, media training for executives, or full-scale leadership communication training — we build the skill that makes everything else work.
Because the skill set that got your leaders to the top of your organization is not the same skill set that will take them — or your organization — to the next level.
Ready to Invest in the Leaders Who Will Define Your Organization’s Next Chapter?
Learn more about our executive coaching and leadership development programs at janicekperformancegroup.com or reach out directly to start a conversation about what your organization needs.
About Janicek Performance Group: Premier Executive Coaching in Chicago
Based in Chicago and serving leaders worldwide, Janicek Performance Group is an Emmy Award-winning executive coaching firm specializing in leadership development, public speaking coaching, executive presence training, media training, and sales executive coaching. For over 25 years, we’ve helped Fortune 500 executives, medical society leaders, top physicians, and C-suite communicators develop the presence and leadership communication skills that define influential leadership.
Our public speaking training programs serve Fortune 500 companies, multi-billion dollar enterprises, medical societies, and executive teams across industries. We provide customized executive coaching that delivers measurable improvements in presentation skills, leadership communication, and executive presence.
If you’re ready to transform from expert to influential leader, refine your presence, project confidence, and take control of your message, reach out today to learn how we can help.
